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If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs,
we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power."

--P. J. O'Rourke

Mind Caviar Vol. I Fall-Winter, 2000

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Bottoms Up!
by Jamie Joy Gatto

The sultry Southern Gentleman's drink, the Sazerac, is often accredited with having been the country's very first cocktail. It was created in New Orleans, and most likely developed around 1859 with the now illegal liquor, Absinthe, used instead of Pernod. Whether you're a lady or a gentleman, (in heart or in gender) you're certain to enjoy this savory and pungent, aphrodisiacal concoction.

Want to keep your wits about you? Try offering instead our Southern "Company" Sweet Tea to your lady and gentlemen callers. Sure to please, and perfect for quenching any hot, sweaty thirst you've managed to work up...

The Perfect Sazerac

3 oz Bourbon Whiskey such as Jack Daniels, Jim Beam or your favorite brand
Splash of Pernod or HerbSaint
3 dashes Peychaud's bitters
1 tsp sugar (or one cube)
Lemon Twist (zest only)

Bottoms Up!
1. Coat the inside of thoroughly chilled large old-fashioned glass with Pernod or HerbSaint
turning the glass to coat it evenly and thoroughly, then tip glass and toss the remaining liquid away. 

2. Shake whiskey, sugar and bitters without ice until the sugar is dissolved. 

3. Add cracked ice and shake until very cold; strain into your prepared old-fashioned glass; twist lemon peel into drink. 

4. Serve "up" without ice in the traditional way, or add cracked or finely shaved ice. Slowly savor each sip. 

This is a drink to be carefully and slowly sipped and savored! Take your time, enjoy the unique and complex flavor-- with an historical twist.

The Perfect Quencher:
Southern "Company" Sweet Tea

1 cup Sugar
12 Luzianne or Lipton Tea Bags (no substitutes!)
2 cups and 1 gallon water
1 Lemon, cut in half, both halves squeezed, rind intact
Plenty of Ice or Crushed Ice, as needed

Bottoms Up!
1. Bring two cups water to boil in a small lidded saucepan pan over high heat. 

2. Remove from heat; immediately add tea bags to the water. Never boil water with tea bags, as it will produce an unpleasant metallic flavor.

3. Cover the pot with lid and allow to steep for about 30 min.

4. In a gallon-sized pitcher, add tea mixture, sugar, lemon juice, half a lemon rind and mix well, until sugar is dissolved adding hot water if needed. Fill pitcher with remaining water, stirring until all is mixed. Leave lemon rind in for a more lemony flavor.

5. Serve ice cold, over ice or preferably with crushed ice. Garnish with fresh mint leaves if desired. 

This will surely slake the too hot after-thirst of lovers, so make sure you always have plenty of iced tea handy and available for all your worthy suitors and callers. You just never know when you'll be working up a sweat!

Copyright © 2000 Jamie Joy Gatto. All rights reserved. Do not copy or post.

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