"The capacity for passion is both cruel and divine."
~ George Sand (1804-1876)
Mind Caviar, Vol. I Fall-Winter Issue, 2000
and Sexual Philosophy
by Cassandra Snow
Ahhh, the beloved yet forever misunderstood and under-utilized sex guide…
How, I’m curious to know, did it come to be that so many of us mortals bought into the idea that we are born with a natural talent for pleasing our lovers while barely grasping the mechanics not to mention the nuances of the erotic? For, if truth be told, an astounding number of sexually active adults, especially women, haven’t the faintest idea as to how their bodies respond to various methods of stimulation. Though a great deal may be attributed to cultural messages, the truth remains. One must understand her own sexuality before possessing the ability to communicate her needs and personal triggers to a partner. It sounds to me as though a little self-awareness might be in order.
Fascinatingly enough, these are the same people who hunger for edgier, more ecstatic sexual experiences; yet, they shy away from attempting anything new out of the fear of flying blind. Then again, there are also the eager ones who jump feet-first into a new scene without ever having done their homework. What results? Sometimes rapture, sure, but more often fumbling, embarrassment and hesitation as they have no clue as to where to begin. Hence, no one involved walks away with the true experience sought.
Let’s face it. As we discover an ever-broadening network of non-traditional lifestyles and relationships, the need for open communication and more comprehensive information is greater than ever. And, it’s there. It’s accessible. Given the shelves lined with publications addressing any scene imaginable and the ability to browse and buy online, there is no reason to deny oneself pleasure due to a fear of the unknown. Let’s stop living beneath a shroud of fear, shame and ignorance, people. It’s just not healthy.
So, once you’ve acquired your copy of whatever, don’t stash it secretly beneath your mattress as an adolescent might, praying that Mommy or Daddy won’t find it and spank your little, round bum. (Hmm, kind of interesting, come to think about it…) Rather, absorb it, share it and then take the initiative to make your desires known. Finally, do something about it – if it feels right.
Our sexuality and capacity for intimacy are so inextricably interwoven with each and every aspect of our lives. Imagine tapping into a flood of creativity, sensuality and openness unlike any you have ever known. How would that passion impact your relationships, life’s work and sense of self? I doubt the suppression of your most primal, basic needs would serve as an enhancement to any facet of your life.
Now, Tigers and Tigresses, go ahead and seek out a little info (a few suggestions follow), get to know and learn to love your “naughty bits” and prepare to indulge in what you most crave. It’s all up to you.
Anyone looking for a crash course on BDSM is certain to glean some heavy-duty knowledge here. From tying the sturdiest of knots and avoiding fashion faux pas to techniques for the perfect flogging and dungeon décor, Sex Tips from a Dominatrix offers virtually everything a newbie needs to know for his or her first D/s experience.
And, learning the tricks of the trade under the guidance of Mistress Payne is a sure-fire way of preparing to be inducted. She by no means takes her role lightly.
“Within these pages,” she writes in the introduction, “you will learn to read, between the black and white lines, the deeper meaning of the black and blue.”
Even those who play frequently may find a trick or two long forgotten. After all, who couldn’t use a refresher course every now and then?
Without question, this guide is a must-read for anyone whose heart (and juices) overfloweth.
As the gospel of polyamorous intimacy, The Ethical Slut leaves no concern unaddressed, no question unanswered. While encouraging sluts of all genders, preferences and lifestyles to dip generously into their abundant wells of desire, authors Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt freely offer their insights into the rewards and challenges to be found in free love.
And, these women know of which they speak. Self-proclaimed sluts in their own right, the authors’ advice emerges from their own experiences and lessons learned.
Advocating a lifestyle of abundance, The Ethical Slut also emphasizes the importance of honesty, consideration and, yes, ethics, in meeting the needs of one’s lovers as well as one’s own.
“As proud sluts, we believe that sex and sexual love are fundamental forces for good – activities with the potential to strengthen intimate bonds, enhance lives, create spiritual awareness, even change the world. And, furthermore, we believe that all consensual sexual choices have these potentials – that any sexual pathway, consciously chosen and mindfully followed, can be a positive, creative force in the lives of individuals and their communities.” (p. 4)
Rest assured, not a single ounce of self-righteousness registers within the authors’ words. Rather, The Ethical Slut provides indispensable information and good, solid advice for all who seek to enjoy a lifestyle of abundant intimacy, passion and earth-shattering orgasmic bliss.
Although Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men is purportedly written to hone the skills of the heterosexual male, my guess is that any woman who picks up this book will find herself craving the touch of a most sensual sister rather than that of the hairy-assed buffoon sprawled out beside her.
Okay, perhaps I should back up here. Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men is an absolutely phenomenal attempt to open the eyes of the creature attached to the “dumb stick” (Thanks, Ally.) Yet, I find it more than impossible to believe that any given caveman would be willing to re-evaluate his technique, much less his methods.
In my opinion, this book is better utilized by women themselves as a tool for empowerment and self-discovery. Within these pages, written with honest-to-goodness insight, women are sure to learn more than they ever imagined about their bodies and desires and just may be compelled to explore the ever greater heights of pleasure to be attained.
What the hell, perhaps Bam Bam might be open to a few suggestions. It’s worth a try. But, if he can’t put down the Cactus Cola long enough to read a few chapters, you may want to re-think your situation.
Until next time!
Your ravenous little pussy cat,
Copyright © 2000 Cassandra Snow. All rights reserved.
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