wasn’t familiar with the Princess Cocktail, so the Royal Diva put him straight
(or as straight as a cute, gay bartender can be) and explained that just
a splash of Chambord is a must, as the drink should never be red, but as
pink as her Princess flower.
Conduct's Princess Cocktail
a tad festive in the holiday season, my sweet and sassy bosom buddy, The
Royal Diva, and I ventured out one evening, wearing fabulously scandalous
attire, no doubt! She in a red, strapless organza along with leopard mules
and tiara, and I in my ever-so-short, black, satin retro dress, blood red
cowboy boots and matching lipstick. We were feeling quite frisky, so we
snatched up our handbags and hailed a cab to the majestically decorated
Boom Boom Room.
candlelit ambience was crimson seductive. As we strolled into the jazzy
house of Boom Boom, it became even sexier, of course. Just a smattering
of folks were there listening to an old guy at the piano. We sidled
up to the corner of the bar and ordered a Princess Cocktail for the Royal
Diva… a bone-dry martini for moí.
The Royal Diva has a remarkable and attention-drawing voice; not intense,
more like smoky, thick honey dripping over bubbles, baby. The small
crowd had taken notice by now. Tiara still adorning her pretty head,
the girl of grandeur educated them all on the Princess Cocktail.
Amused and in awe, everyone smiled, ready for something fun.
sauntered across the flickering room, set a bare elbow on the piano and
whispered into the old player’s ear. He nodded. The Royal Diva sipped
from her glass, then opened her luscious lips to pour out Nina Simone’s
own, "I Want a Little Sugar in my Bowl", and we all went a little crazy.
The crowd asked for more and she gave it to them gracefully. I switched
my martinis to Princess Cocktails and, needless to say, after oodles of
them all night, we didn’t buy a one!
to Do It, Royally
this to your favorite Princess, girl or boy. Serve up, in a martini glass,
shot of Chopin vodka
pieces of muddled lime
of Chambord (just enough to make it pink)
and Bottoms Up, Baby!
© 2004 Kim Alvarez. All Rights Reserved. Do not copy or post in whole
or in part.
Retro Graphics Copyright © 2004 Kim Alvarez. All Rights Reserved.
Do not copy or post in whole or in part.
Alvarez is a saucy
little sex advice columnist whose column, Mz. Conduct's House Of Sin appears
monthly in SFX
men's magazine. She published a zine called the Gutter Rag
for several years and her erotica flash fiction and poetry have appeared
at Brilliant Smut and Clean
Sheets as well as Girlphoria
and Venus or Vixen? She's written an article on animal abuse for
of Bounds magazine, political reviews for Portland's Alliance
newspaper, an art op-ed piece for The Chicago Tribune and Curio
magazine. Mz. Kimi, as she so adoringly is called, is a garden goddess,
a weight room enthusiast, a martini shaker collector, an animal rescuer,
a bad girl extraordinaire and the mother you were warned about. Visit
Mz. Conduct at her slut-o-licious Web site.
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