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Aldonza
The Diva
Aldonza
is also a rock starlet, a stage performer and a collector of toys, dolls
and drag queen memorabilia. She loves make-up and cheap jewelry, the gawdier
the better. She was once a hippie and a go-go girl and got a fab tattoo
before it was a chic thing to do.
Now
she rules over the tackiest page Mind Caviar has to offer. Eat it up, baby!
Step inside a Diva's shopping bag to see what see wants, what she hates,
what she craves. She rates it right here at Mind Caviar and what Aldonza
says goes! (Look at the bottom of the page to see her wacky rating scale.) |
| The
Beautician of Oz
The
Beautician of Oz is my part I won in the Wizard of Oz play for which
I recently auditioned. How perfect is that? I now get to play Oz games
for months during rehearsals and wear a goofy, colorful costume. I even
get to primp Dorothy (or Scarecrow, or Lion, or Tin-guy). I will forever
have BEAUTICIAN OF OZ as part of my life resume. I'm so happy and excited!!
I went looking for weird Wizard of Oz sites to share with y'all
to get you in an "Over the Rainbow" mood.
Of
course, I found something to buy: a book called The Emerald Burrito
of Oz. From what I gather, it's about a bunch of odd wackos (my favorite
book characters) in someplace like Monterey California, and it's an Oz-like
parody. Go to the book's
site to find out more and read some enthusiastic reviews that will
for sure make you buy it, too. |
click
to learn more
about
the book |
I'm
reading The Emerald Burrito of Oz right now. The title is
also the name of a Mexican restaurant in OZ, where, in the year 2007, anyone
who passes certain tests can visit because the portal has been discovered
between Earth and Oz. One girl who moved to Oz from L.A. is a waitress
there and had the only existing CD player in Oz. She only had headphones
for it, but this guy she likes builds speakers out of Oz coconuts. Now
they're in the restaurant and the Ozians are listening to this:
Before
the day was done, I played "St. Alphonso's Pancake Breakfast". I played
luscious Jeff Buckley and righteous Rev. Horton Heat. I played psychotic
Thrill Kill Kult, spritely Cindi Lee Berryhill, and the red-hot sounds
of Dizzy Gillespie, plus a little Latin Playboys and Debussy on the side
while half of Emerald City tried to pack its way inside our doors.
This is
such a fun book!
Crazy
Oz Tidbits |
click
to learn more
about
the movie
|
| I
remember hearing something about a scene in The Wizard of Oz movie
where back in the woods, behind Dorothy and company, you can just barely
see the hanging body of the MUNCHKIN
SUICIDE!!! The rumour was that unrequited love drove the little
guy to end it all... Bullshit? Not Bullshit?... you decide.
Then,
of course, there's the famous Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon/Wizard
of Oz syncronicity experience. This IS very cool, if you've never
done it you MUST try it. To find out more about what this is and how to
do it go to this
site. Groovy to the Max.
Mom
said she'd make me this meal from
this site. "Over the Rainbow Macaroni and Cheese" is a recipe
from super-diva Patti LaBelle-- she is one of my idols. "I Wish I Had a
Heart Artichoke Nibbles" sound yummy... go look... and cook. Then write
me to tell me how delicious it came out. |
Album
cover for Pink Floyd's
"Dark
Side of the Moon"
|
I copied this from some weird news site:
"The
10-year-old African Gray parrot repeatedly screams: "I'll get you, my pretty,
and your little dog, too!" a line taken from the Wizard of Oz. Weird,
but true."
I had
to do a parrot's voice right here in my little computer room to get the
effect. You do it, too. Actually, the Wicked Witch of the West in the movie
already sounds like a parrot, if you ask me.
Wish
me luck in my new part... I will keep you posted.
 |
A
Humble Retraction from Aldonza The Diva to
CHELVIS...
The
King of Wok and Roll!
The
Diva wishes to state that Chelvis, the Chinese Elvis had his people write
my people stating the fact that in my last review, I gave the site two
crowns instead of three because I couldn't buy Chelvis merchandise. They
want me to know that I was wrong, and gorgeous Chelvis
memorabilia is available here.
I am
ordering a coffee mug immediately and I am really sorry, Oh Asian King
of Rock... I kowtow deeply to you. I humbly offer three crowns to you and
your Web site, Chelvis. |
Burke's
character Robichaux is damaged yet noble. Don't you just love guys like
that? When you read this book you'll want to feel Robichaux's outrage and
share his pain. He's weathered and mysterious and tough-- and on my list
of fictional characters I would have sex with.
I CRAVE
New Orleans and the atmosphere of the city. Burke writes of the surrounding
bayou towns near New Orleans so well that you can smell, taste and hear
the atmosphere. I love it when I can see wonderfully described scenes in
my mind's eye. Warning: these books are graphically violent, but
I think that only plunges you head first into the real world of crime and
murder. Why soften the blow?
I'm
remembering a quote by Robichaux from Cadillac Jukebox, another
book in Burke's series: "His eyes were so intense they reminded me of sweat
bees pressed against glass." I LOVE THAT!
Three
crowns for James Lee Burke's creation.
Aldonza's
Measures:
=
Flawless, Fabulous Product.
= Very Good; I'd Recommend It To a Friend.
= Decent but Flawed. Some Shortcomings.
= This Stinks!
Stuff
Aldonza's E-Box with Fan Mail: Click
Here!
Copyright
© 2002 Aldonza. All Rights Reserved. Do not copy or post in whole
or in part.
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