Mind Caviar Reviews

"Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion,
for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric." 
--Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

Mind Caviar, Vol. I Premiere Issue, Winter 2000

Rant & Rave Reviews
by Aldonza

Gene Fashion Dollcrowncrowncrown

Gene is a 15" fashion doll designed by Mel Odem, an illustrator, who's work once frequently appeared in Playboy. Gene is distributed by the Ashton-Drake Galleries. She costs $50.00 - $90.00 and to me, is worth it. Her outfits are about $40.00 each, so if you want to please her and like me, only make an average salary, you'll have to budget for her. But does she appreciate that?... NO! NO! NO! I bestow three crowns on my tiny but relentless goddess. Click Here to visit a Gene website and see what all the fuss is about. 

"Gene, Honey, I bought you a new ensemble. Do you like it?" 

She looks at me disdainfully as always, especially as I delicately strip her down. I turn her over and draw her new black pantyhose over her hard, smooth legs, straightening the seams with care, her high ass on display. Is she secretly smiling now that her face is hidden in my lap? But no, as I turn her to pull on her new gown, her perfectly painted lips are still sealed in their serious pout. 

I involuntarily breathe out," Gene!" as I behold her beauty. The new outfit fits her curves like a satin-sprayed erotic dream. I have to close my eyes, overwhelmed. 

I fit a hat fashioned of tiny pheasant feathers that brush her delicate, cheekbones. I touch her there, with the tip of my large, clumsy finger, unworthy. She seems to purposely avert her gaze from mine at all times with those eyes which evoke ancient, primal memories of inscrutable Egyptian goddesses, flawless, omniscient. 

Her tiny red toenails... do they squeamishly shrink from my touch as I slip on her lying, cheating "fuck-me" pumps? 

"How I hate you, Gene!" 

"Why won't you love me?" 

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhoodcrowncrowncrown
A Novel by Rebecca Wells

It certainly has an eye-catching title and this book lives up to the lure of it's name. Girlfriends...a sacred bond...I love this theme! Three crowns to Ms. Wells for sheer entertainment and for reminding me how much I love my friends...kisses to you, Girlies! 

If you appreciate these themes, too, you get a dose of lifetime support, constant flattery, raucous, pee-in-your-pants laughter and this book puts a little gumbo ya-ya spice on it all, making the language sooo delicious. The flamboyant characters also have their dark, sometimes shocking flaws, which brings out in the reader and unconditional love for them, forever making the reader a member of the sisterhood. 

Take a look at the sites devoted to the book to see what I mean. Folks will not let go of the Ya-Ya experience, even after the book is closed. 

The Long Kiss Goodnightcrowncrowncrown
1996 New Line Cinema, Film Starring Geena Davis

Three crowns cause it makes me jump up off the couch, fierce in my bathrobe...fist up for Miss Geena! 

  • Geena Davis rising from freezing water, blue-lipped sneer, defiant, invincible, icy finger hooked to the trigger. 
  • Geena Davis speed skating the ice, a white streak of doom, a Nordic Goddess firing an automatic weapon. 
  • Geena Davis springing up from a bungee cord of Merry Christmas lights, blood-streaked Revenge Queen firing an automatic weapon shouting... 
"D I E   S C R E A M I N G   M O T H E R F U C K E R  ! ! !"

The movie is "The Long Kiss Goodnight" so get up and go rent it...Now...then E-Mail me....go on....Go! 

It'll be fun! 

Aldonza's Measures:

crowncrowncrown = Flawless, Fabulous Product. 

crowncrown = Very Good, I'd Recommend It To a Friend. 

crown = Decent but Flawed. Some Shortcomings. 

air freshener = This Stinks! 

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Copyright © 2000 Aldonza. All rights reserved.

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