 Renaldo del Coño is a mechanical engineer, a fabulous dancer, and a man who knows just how to please a woman. The following is his first published piece of erotica. Happy April Fool's Day!
The Stripper They picked me! They really picked me! I couldn't believe it when I heard the news. I was chosen to go to New Orleans. Maybe the talent runs in my family. I do come from a long line of strippers. My mother, my grandmother, and as far back as I can remember were all in the business. I probably just inherited the know-how. The day for my trip came quickly, though not soon enough to suit me. The girls from the bunch I hung with wished me good-bye and good luck, or "adios y bueno suerte" as they say where I come from. They all said that they were so happy for me, but I could see they were green. I boarded the boat and was on my way at last. Of course the boat wasn't first class, because they weren't sure how much profit I would bring. I was quite sure, although, that my act would be just delicious. The boat was very crowded. I could hardly move without bumping into someone. This is bad in my case, because I have tender skin and bruise easily. When one peels for a living, a bruise is bad news. Finally, I arrived in "The city that care forgot" and I was turned over to a manager named Thomas Savor. They say all of his girls make it big. Within a few short days I learned to know him intimately as "Tom." He put me on the shelf for a while so he could take care of some other girls he had been trying to get rid of for quite some time. He told me, confidentially, that they were rotten and old. Tom said he wanted me to practice up and get used to the atmosphere of New Orleans, because I would still look pretty green to the people here. At last the good news came. The owner of a joint just off Bourbon Street had seen me and said that his customers would just devour me. He brought me to his apartment. I thought he was going to leave me there with this bunch of fruits, but instead he took me with him. I brought my costume along, because somehow I knew I would be taking it off that night. The costume was my favorite. It was yellow and tight fitting, made especially for me. It clung to my shapely body like a removable skin. People say my folks and I have nice stems, too. As soon as we arrived Tom directed me to go on the stage. The music began to grind. Tom pointed at me and it was time to let it fall. The familiar sound of the rhythm swam in my head while I swayed and danced to build up the effect. When I felt the time was right I began to peel, from the top down, as is the custom of my family. About half way into my act I noticed a dude who was just eating me up. Wow! Maybe he was a talent scout. He was! When he finished eating me up he picked up my yellow peel and commented that I was the best banana he had ever tasted. By the way, my name is "Chiquita." Copyright © 2000 Renaldo del Coño All rights reserved. Do not copy or post. 
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