by jamie joy
 

Q: Do you have any advice for "Dirty Slut Wannabes"? 

A: "Don't Dream It, Be It..." and practice birth control, safe sex, and don't do anything to try to "prove something" -- just do it because you love it, because you want it and because it's a part of yourself. Be happy and try to stay educated about your body, your limits, your emotions and always maintain your psychological and sexual health. That might sound boring or preachy, but hey-- you wanted the truth, right? Sometimes it takes work in order to be free.

Who, if I cried out, would hear me amongst the angels' hierarchies?
and even if one of them pressed me suddenly against his heart:
I would be consumed in that overwhelming existence.
For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror, which we are still just able to bear,
and we are so awed because it serenely disdains to annihilate us.
Every angel is terrifying.

I'm hung over as a damn dog because my hub and I stayed up til 9AM with two guys we picked up in a bar and I got fucked well and right for hours, and I was even made to play puppy, wear a dog collar and drink champagne from a bowl-- and of course, ordered to suck lots of cock. I am so naughty. The event involved cocaine and Viagra. And whips and blindfolds. Did I mention a sleazy men's bar bathroom three-way? 

It all began (as it usually does) with dress up! I was feeling subtly glamorous yesterday evening as I dressed to go out to dinner with my two favorite boys: my luscious hub and my adorable friend, The Mighty D. The cute boys both dressed up and I couldn't help but be proud and pleased-- and mighty aroused as I watched them from afar while in the car as they visited the ATM across the street. In my short black skirt, black low-cut bodice and sequin-trimmed tiny bolero jacket I crossed my ankles wearing strappy pumps and felt a rush of heat flood my pussy as I watched the boys approach the car. Yes, I was "in a mood" as my husband calls it. I couldn't help myself from wanting to be filled, fucked and used. 

We went to a delicious and decadent dinner of Japanese/Chinese sushi buffet and gorged ourselves on delicacies from the Orient complete with tasty pastry desserts-- even tiny cream puffs shaped like elegant swans. In case you haven't figured out that food is an aphrodisiac for me, let's just say I always have the best sex after a really nice meal and a few cocktails. Party drugs are optional, as they can certainly cut down on physical arousal, but that's why goddess invented Viagra. Little blue pills that make clits and dicks work even after slamming a dozen martinis is definitely something that should be in every slut's medicine cabinet or bedside drawer. :-)

The first sensual event we experienced was a little adventure we had outside the King Pin bar uptown. When we first arrived there were tons of cute girls all over the street and sidewalk. On closer look we noticed they were all wearing white marching boots. We'd happened to stumble upon an all grown-up sexy girl dance troupe called "The Pussy Footers" and we watched as they practice danced/marched with sultry moves to three different songs and routines up and down the street and sidewalks. Talk about hot! They were totally fun, including a spunky Brazilian who shook her ass like a wild vixen. I can't wait to see them in a parade next week.

Everywhere we go, we always end up having little adventures. That's what I love about the Danger Duo: Alex and I happen upon playful, artsy or sexy events it seems almost everywhere we go. Add Mighty D and Danger Trio embarks on lots of little adventures, as well. 

At the first bar I met a great guy who ended up discussing human sexuality with me. I found myself growing extremely attacted to him, but I was drawn to leave that bar and go to a sleazier place called Ms. Mae's a 24-7 dive with ultra-cheap drinks. Something kept pulling me there. I think it was my intuitive little snatch.

After Mighty D left (he had AM work, poor baby) I decided to stay late with Alex. As I slowly got hammered talking gay chat with a nearby queen and watching "Girls Gone Wild" promos on TV, I was so fucking horny I swear my clit felt like a huge, throbbing cock. Between talking about my favorite subject, boy-boy sex and watching the gorgeous  long-braided dark headed bartender, and the barrage of images of topless Playboy models dancing and making out with one another on the TV, I was about ready to hump the nearest thing that moved. I considered a move on the bartender, but decided he'd be too tough to crack. He seemed like the kind of guy who honestly preferred supermodels to real chicks, so I bailed on that idea. 

Alex was playing pool when Mighty Mighty Aphrodite decided to grant me my fondest wish. Two cute boys-- one rugged, Irish-looking and the other a Goth with gorgeous waist-length black hair decided to come in, sit next to me and chat. I immediately began to talk to and braid the Goth boy's hair while tenderly flirting with him and his naughty friend. By the time Alex had gone to the ATM and back, I was already living up to a dare of flashing my panties to the boys and I definitely got crazy with flashing my pussy as the dare got more intense. I'm so naughty! You'd think I did this all the time, but I never had done this in a bar to two virtual strangers. It's true: the pussy works in mysterious ways.

Goth boy invited hub to the bathroom for party drugs then I got invited, too. I sat on the toilet tank, closed the flimsy shower curtain and placed my feet on the seat lid. After a few bumps I was suddenly being fingered by my husband as Goth boy and he both licked my same nipple and French kissed one another simultaneously as they groped one another through their trousers. No sooner than I could say "multiple orgasm", Alex started lapping at my cunt as Goth boy devoured my neck and decolletage.

There's always a moron in any given "perfect" situation such as this dream cum true trio, so of course-- in walks a dildo-headed Frat boy and shouts to the rest of the bar (all five patrons) THERE'S PEOPLE HAVING SEX IN THE MEN'S ROOM! OH MY GOD! Like he'd never witnessed sex in all his date-rape Frat boy days at Tulane. Talk about an asswipe party-pooper! How stupid is this man? Besides, we were behind a fucking curtain. He couldn't even see that much, if anything. Couldn't he just piss and leave? Noooooo, that would have been too simple.

So, of course we all came running out like coked-up sex fiends with our clothes in disarray. Stupid asswipe Frat dickcheese. At any rate that got us all four home fast-- me hub, Goth boy and Irish man-- and into our comfy apartment. Goth boy had to leave early, but I played all sorts of nasty games with Irish and Alex. I read sexy poetry in a floor-length, satin, red, boudoir gown and high patent-leather heels, purring sultry lines for their pleasure. I played puppy and fetched my whip in my teeth and crawled to my master as he trained me to be a good girl. I had mucho fellatio, was the cause of many, many (safe sex) orgasms, and ultimately had the time of my life being a pampered pet, a sexy Dominatrix, a cum slut. I also offered whipping lessons to Irish, and treated him to a deep sensual massage with a deer-skin flogger. If you've never tried this, you should. It does not hurt, but feels intensely sensual and offers much arousal as the nerve endings in the skin inspire delight.

Valentine's Day is coming. May the gods be good to me and grant me more endless hard-ons til the cows come home. Then let's all eat strawberries with sweet cream, thank the cows, then fuck some more.

I decided not to conclude my kinky psychodrama story with my delicious husband, because even though this is a diary, I still know there are some naughty voyeurs peeking at it. So... you will have to excuse me for now. If you have any specific questions, go ahead and email me a polite note, and you might get some explicit answers to your queries. I'm warning you, though: If I get any dumbfuck asswipe letters they may be posted with your REAL email address, so be kind to me.  Do not fuck with a Domme.

I hope you'll forgive my lengthy absence but I have been trying to go out as much as possible and yet work as hard as possible every waking moment, switching off the intense work/play with as much fervor as can be done by a no-longer-twenty-something. I'd say I'm doing a damn good job of it. I've had a delicious tryst with the luscious, but slightly psycho and too sweet neighbor boy. My hub and I entertained him for two days and two nights in a row. That was a nice little birthday present for a kinky slut dolly like me. Two cocks are definitely better than one, especially when one is bi and both are attached to really unbelievably cute boys. 

Then, another night there was a dinner party with a game of Tawdry Trivia. It included me making out with a gorgeous girlfriend (including some nice groping action) as well as flashing, telling dirty secrets and a nice little ass and balls flash from my friend the Mighty D. He has a cute hiny, so it was almost worth his whining protests-- almost-- Jeezus Gawd that man can whine. Wigs and drag were a big part of the festivities as was liquor and food. It was a happy night of debauchery for all involved. :-)

The biggest news is I had my first orgasm strictly from anal stimulation ever!!! The earth was quakin', my mind was shakin' ... and You shook me allllllllll... oh, ok that's an AC/DC song... but it works. Yes, it was a drooling, toe-curling, clit flittering, g-spot fucking amazing sight to behold. I am now calling my asshole my "ass clit" because it is just as exciting to me now. I can't get enough lube, finger play and rimming. I am obsessed with my rosebud for the first time in a long time. I just love new sex toys, and tongue tips lapping at my clean, tight little bud.

Well, I'm off to write a custom erotica story for a client, so again I'll be having less sex and writing about it more than actually doing it. At least I'll be getting paid. And slut dollies need money in order to go out and drink and do bad things. 

I love to do bad things!

What started out as a mundane night on Sunday evening-- a couple drinks with a friend-- turned into a mini- movie of some sort-- a kink-o-rama extravanganza tinged with a dash of Lynch and Tarantino. Holy shit. Ok, here goes: we went to the Milan, a tiny neighborhood dive that has the maximum capacity of about thirty people if no one actually had to breathe air. We had a couple drinks, sucked down some helium balloons in order to play a game of munchkin voice, and that seemed as if it was going to be the highlight of the evening: good clean fun mixed with booze and tobacco-- the usual. 

Well, it happened to be twelfth night, and that means it was the official kick-off of Carnival season, and that also meant that a few revelers in costume were bound to show up at the bar. Unable to resist the urge to dance with strange costumed men, I had my share of partner dancing while singing Patsy Cline sad songs and trading partners all night. The men were smitten, and insisted we meet them at the Sandpiper. Why a couple of white guys wanted to hit a project bar was beyond me. They insisted it was a great New Orleans bar and that they always had their last drink of the evening there, as it was a 24/7 bar. Dubious about the safety of the location, we followed along anyway, just to check out this tradition and grab a last drink. The bar was kickin'. 

We were the only four white folks there, but I immediately found a sexy black mamma with a diamond nose ring to kick it with on the dance floor. We danced for many songs to club music and inspired quite a few others to join us. The people were friendly, the place was comfortable, and the drinks were reasonably priced. We decided to definitely put the Sandpiper on the list of places to go. 

Until we were robbed at gunpoint upon entering our vehicle.

Shit. 

That was weird. 

I had the distinct feeling that the man would not have shot us, but he did have a gun and we did not have much money. The motherfucker got away with less than twenty dollars and we weren't hassled much. I did mouth off to him and I think I made him feel guilty. Why the hell anyone would try to rob a couple driving a beat up 1983 car was beyond me. Of course we had no money. It was 4AM and we'd drunk it all. Duh.

Surprisingly the mugging did not deter us. We were on a roll and simply had to go to more places. We were both pumped up, horny and for some reason felt the need to play in public. We settled on Snake and Jake's knowing it would be open well past dawn. Our favorite bartender, Griper, even offered to buy us drinks all night when he heard we'd been robbed. But, we declined as we'd picked up some cash on the way and were ready to party. A juicy guy I'd recently met at a birthday party was there and although I thought he was a little crazy, I did find him incredibly attractive. I'd spanked his ass for a voyeuristic closed-circuit camera at that same party mentioned as folks lined up for a bit of birthday punishment. As a professional masseuse, he later gave a demonstration to friends and I got to be a guinea pig for massage therapy. So, obviously, regardless of my slight apprehension about his sanity, we had shared a few intimate moments. 

The guy, I'll call him "M", was begging me to spank him again, but this time harder. I made arrangements with Griper to get permission to practice a little safe-sane(?)-consensual SM in the bar. He agreed. A smattering of belts and bar implements were offered and I set out to put the chocolate skin on his muscular back and gorgeous ass aflame with various lashes, massages, strokes and whips of leather belts. M was writhing and humming on endorphins by the time I finished with him. I was elated on the power and energy (and the lemon drops I'd downed earlier). I usually don't practice whip play while drinking but I felt totally in control, just loose and free.

M rewarded me with hugs and a nice little surprise package which I immediately took into the ladies room and put up my nose. Good Dommes do go to heaven. <<evil grin>>. 

After that, I was afire-- high from many influences. My crotch was moist from all the excitement of the evening, yet I had to go home to finish this play. Alex & I told M goodnight and we left the bar for more privacy. On the way home we negotiated a scene. I wanted to do something a little extreme. I was primed. No more whip play. I'd had enough of that. I wanted psychological play, humiliation, panty-creaming, hardcore, power play. Was he ready to submit? Yes. What if I made him cry? All the better. What if we-- neither or either of us-- didn't even come? He agreed that it would be just as exciting as if we did. He didn't anticipate that I'd begin as soon as the car was in the driveway. Dawn was approaching and the Christian landlords are usually lurking about around then. But I couldn't resist. When we got out of the car, I slammed Alex's face into the hood of the car, held it there, then I spit the words into his face: 

"Your mother is a piece of shit, so don't you dare call me mommy, you hear?" 
He nodded, trembling. 
"I am going to be your daddy tonight, do you understand me?" 
I lifted him up from the hood of the car by his hair and shoved him toward the front door, "Walk," I said. 
"Yes, Daddy," was all he dared to say.

To Be Continued... and it only gets kinkier from here on out.

Yesterday was my birthday and I did absolutely nothing because I deserve a little break from the non-stop parties and the anxiety of being alive. Not like I don't love to party with the best of them. Hell-- I AM the best of them, being a New Orleanian and a famous hostess and a slut doll, to boot. But I was very naughty over the last few weeks of festivities, and I intend to tell you some of it here. I had sex drugs booze tobacco fellatio orgasms chocolate finger fucked ass fucked eaten out gang banged decadent dining steak shrimp champagne vodka cognac absinthe cocaine coca-cola damiana swanky parties french kisses body licking fun with stockings nights at home nights on the town dress up dress down and soon to come, a SUSHI EXTRAVAGANZA
 

I like the little vegetable rolls that have fresh cucumbers, avocados, carrots and other goodies tucked inside.

My friend Jill says she likes the Ikura, the salmon roe, best because she likes the way it bursts in her mouth. You can't complain with that explanation. I will try it!

My actual birthday celebration will be on January 13th with my friend D. We are sharing the birthday this year, which suits me fine since I can postpone my dreaded added year to the numerical value of me by a week's time. OH! I almost forgot. Darren survived Vegas --barely-- but he did enjoy lots of sex and booze and pills, which made me proud. I am just glad he came back to town in one piece and horny, and that the non-stop decadence could continue at least for another week or so. So yes, more of sex drugs booze tobacco fellatio orgasms chocolate finger fucked ass fucked eaten out gang banged decadent dining steak shrimp champagne vodka cognac absinthe cocaine coca-cola damiana swanky parties french kisses body licking fun with stockings nights at home nights on the town dress up dress down. In between lots of trips to dentists, shrinks and various doctors and severe anxiety/panic attacks, I made it out alive into January 2002 and dare I say happier after December's barrage of decadence?  Hmmmm... 

If I am a very good girl  (or is that bad girl?) maybe I'll get a birthday spanking this year. Truth be known, I have been both very good and very bad, but hell, we all deserve something special on our birthday just for breathing. Life is hard, but I'm still standing. So tie me up and spank me down.