Mind Caviar Reviews

"Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. 
If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats."
  --Howard Aiken 

Mind Caviar, Vol. I Summer Issue, 2000

Rant & Rave Reviews
by Aldonza
 




 
Whores of Lost Atlantiscrowncrowncrown
by Charles Busch

"Which one of you vipers poisoned my eunuch's iced tea?"
                                                      Milena, Whores of Lost Atlantis ACT II, Scene IV

Got your attention? 

This book fulfills my "Lets Get Together and Put On A Show" fantasies in glorious detail and the characters are so well-written I am glad they live inside my book forever so I can hang out with them anytime I want.

In Whores of Lost Atlantis, our narrator is Julian: an out-of-work performance artist who writes his play while putting in secretarial temp hours. Julian gets together a band of mildly to wildly eccentric friends, glitters and gilds them, dresses them in old drapes and stapled-together leather loincloths. They camp up the ancient world and the Gods are pleased! Julian becomes a Diva ala Bernhardt and the company gets flavor-of-the-week pics in People Magazine. 

I award Whores of Lost Atlantis Three Crowns 'cause Charles Busch is a camp goddess!!! 

Now you can at Mind Caviar.




Hat Lamps crowncrowncrown

I AM GOING TO HOLD MY BREATH UNTIL I DIE OR SOMEONE BUYS ME ONE OF THESE HATLAMPS!!!! 

(preferably the red satin one with the leopard bottom.)

Buy Aldonza the Diva Hatlamps: Click Here!  to see what all the fuss is about.




High Artcrowncrown
Film, 1998 directed by Lisa Cholodenko

I once worked in a famous art museum and felt disillusioned while selling Renoir cosmetic bags and Magritte umbrellas.
Art = Money...  Welcome to reality, duh!  So, I've had my minor exposure to the manipulation and flattening of artistic vision which is expressed in the film, High Art.

High Art stars Ally Sheedy as Lucy Berliner: a brilliant photographer who dropped out on the cusp of fame because of the industry of the art business. Trust-funded, Lucy lives a heroin-chic lifestyle with her German actress lover, Greta (a woman who oozes like a beautiful slug on a soiled party couch). Syd is the fresh, young editor of a hip photo magazine who rediscovers Lucy and brings an unbearably barbed hope into the jaded artist's life. 

The affair between Lucy and Syd is filmed modestly. I read that the director, Lisa Cholodenko, didn't want the focus of the film to be on the lesbianism, to make it more matter-of-fact than a shock issue. She succeeds in this, though girls harboring fantasies as old as The Breakfast Club will be frustrated. I was fascinated by it, like watching a very slow motion car wreck.

Sheedy, wiry and intense, compels you to watch her character's turmoil... falling down is so much easier, isn't it? Radha Mitchell, as Syd, is soft and irresistibly touchable... can she cushion the fall? 

High Art gets Two Crowns: it loses one because I didn't think the final photos taken by Sheedy's character were all that fabulous. To me, they looked like pookie shots of anyone's girlfriend. But, maybe I'm wrong... let me know.

Now you can Buy The Video! at Mind Caviar.




Welcome To Freaky Links crowncrown

Hours of mind-boggling fun await you at Freaky Links! I am dying to go to Georgia and see the home of the late Saint Eom, who was once a homeless pimp/drug dealer-cum-fortune teller/artist who filled his home with giant, day-glow concrete statues. Freaky Links claims that his former home/shrine is now haunted by his restless spirit. 

At Freaky Links, you can also meet a beautiful three-legged stripper (imagine the possiblilities!) or visit a woman who leaves milk and chocolate chip cookies in her shrine to the Antichrist... and check out The Alabama Museum of Wonder where you can find the world's largest gallstone, Einstein's brain, and Bob Ross, the Fortune Telling Chicken!!! 

Two crowns is my rating. I had soooooooo much fun there, but I was a little disappointed in the store; I thought I'd find weirder playthings.

If you liked Freaky Links try this link to Fate Magazine, where you can find more paranormal articles and weirdness.
 




Aldonza's Measures:

crowncrowncrown = Flawless, Fabulous Product. 

crowncrown = Very Good, I'd Recommend It To a Friend. 

crown = Decent but Flawed. Some Shortcomings. 

air freshener = This Stinks! 

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