I've tried to kill you, even your face, your name
what's cute what makes me giggle
especially what makes me sigh

I almost forget you--
forgetting is the balm
the pain is not in losing you
it's in keeping what is not real alive

the times I didn't have
the things I didn't say
the arguments never mustered
the love you didn't dare

I want to call you coward 
then I forget you are not even a ghost, no
you don't linger like the omniscient haze of lovers past
because you didn't live or die
you were in between
like a flash-- simple-- fast-- gone

The pain is not in losing you
it's in never beginning
it's in nothing
its in my head
its gone

not
even
a
ghost

no

no, not at all

copyright ©  2001 Jamie Joy Gatto. All Rights Reserved.
May not be re-printed in any form without express written consent of the author.

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