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The Bi Experience is a collection of real life bisexual stories written by bi-friendly people who are from all different walks of life, but who happen to identify as bisexual, bi-curious or bi-questioning. These are not professional writers or activists, but everyday bi people who want to share their lives with you.

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P.T.
Gender Identity: Male
Age: 40
Location: Northern California USA
Sexual Identity:  Bisexual, Hetero-Leaning


P.T's Personal Story:

I've always been an inquisitive person, especially in the realm of sex and sexuality. Throughout my life my desires have always been with women, but I never felt at all repulsed by the idea of men having sex with other men. In fact, ever since I can remember, the image of a bisexual threesome involving two bi men sharing a woman was one of the most powerful erotic images I could conjure.

Growing up as mostly heterosexual man, I'm actually quite happy to have discovered my bisexual side, even if only recently in my life. Looking back, I've probably been bisexual ever since my late teens, at least in terms of my sexual fantasies and turn-ons, yet I didn't really act on any desire to be sexual with men until I was in my early thirties.

I guess I've always been rather gender neutral in terms of what I considered arousing. My first bisexual realization came in my teens when I would view images in Playgirl magazine. Somehow, the men of Playgirl seemed extremely provocative to me, perhaps because I was a man quite interested in what women considered erotic. Later, in my quest to learn more about sexuality in general, I would read books on women's sexuality like Women on Top, by Nancy Friday, and Sex For One: The Joy of Selfloving, by Betty Dodson. At that time, during the late 70s to mid-80s, women were hot on the trail toward becoming more sexually liberated. The theme of women discovering their lesbian identities and/or bisexual side was a very strong theme, one which I found particularly exciting. I guess it was then that I began to consider what it would be like to liberate my own sexuality, and to discover what it would be like to explore my bisexual self. I began to rent bisexual videos. 

In my twenties I enjoyed some generally limited, but occasionally exciting, sexual exploration. I dated women and met some very nice ladies. I formed some good relationships, some sexual, some non-sexual. Friendships came and went with time. I guess I was beginning to wonder if and when my sex life was going to be as exciting as I dreamed it could be... 

I tend to be very drawn to truly bisexual, or even lesbian-leaning women. I eventually met a woman who was very out and proud to be bisexual. We were mostly friends, though we were quite open about sexuality together. One day I mounted enough courage to express to her that I dreamed of experiencing a bisexual threesome, one involving two men and a woman. To my surprise, she was thrilled and was more than happy to help make it a reality for both of us. We talked about it a bit more. In no sooner than a week or two, we found a willing third partner-- a male friend of hers-- and quickly arranged to have a threesome together.

Looking back on that first threesome experience, I wasn't really as sexual with the man as I dreamed I'd be. There was plenty of sharing between him, me, and our mutual lady friend, mostly with her in the middle, the center of our attention. But there was something fulfilling about being sensual with him while she encouraged us. We guys mostly stroked and fondled, enjoying some light oral sex along the way, gently guided by her presence and encouragement. Sadly, it was a one-time affair between the three of us. But I came away knowing I was definitely interested in male bisexuality, and our shared threesome experience only gave me greater courage and determination to explore more. 

Some years have passed and I have since enjoyed other bisexual experiences. Though rare, I did have other threeways, once with a male friend of mine with whom I shared a woman we'd met together. I had two other encounters with couples through contacts I'd made through a local swinger's magazine. Later, I joined a men's group which included erotic massage. I was delighted to find the men's group to be very supportive and encouraging of bisexuality. For the most part, these experiences were wonderful. 

I began to feel a lot more comfortable expressing myself sexually with other men. I discovered there were men out there who felt very much like me: mostly straight, but open and explorative with other men. I discovered how empowered and excited I could feel being full-on sexual with another man, enjoying the silky-smooth, yet warm and firm feeling of his erection, knowing the raw energy of male sexuality. I got to experience the wonderful contrast between a man's beautiful hairy chest and a woman's soft, supple breasts. I was able to experience how hot it can be to kiss a man while in the throes of passion with a woman. I understood what it was like to feel my body pressing firmly against another man's, our erect cocks gently sandwiched between our naked, sweaty bodies, to know what it's like to give a man prolonged oral sex, just as I enjoyed women doing to me. Erotically, I cannot imagine anything more potent and exciting as three or four bisexual men and women together at the same time.

Presently, I'm probably just as comfortable with men sexually as I am with women, given the right chemistry. Although I am more emotionally and intimately connected to women, I do find it's possible to form fulfilling connections with certain men, connections which seem like erotic comrades. Male or female, bi or otherwise, it's simply nice to share with someone who feels the same way you do. Relationship-wise, I am happy with a number of otherwise fulfilling (though non-sexual) relationships, mostly with women, but lately with a few men too. I've become to "come out" openly as bisexual to more of my close friends; a select few have been surprisingly encouraging and are happy to hear about my sexual journey. 

In the words of one of my best female friends, "Isn't it wonderful that we can discover who we are sexually?" Overall, it's been very encouraging to share my sexuality with other men and women, I'm not secretive about things, but it's not something I tell to everyone. 

My only wish would be to see more bisexually inclusive places out there. The gay world is not something I am all that drawn to, even though there are probably innumerable opportunities for men to meet sexually, whether at clubs or bath houses. It would be so exciting to find more mixed gender swing clubs that fully support and encourage bisexuality in men and women. It's also encouraging to find open, honest discussion of other people's bisexual experiences, especially from men in relationships with women and bisexual couples where both the man and woman are bisexual. 

May all human beings find that it's their birthright to express their sexual selves fully, openly and honestly. And may we all learn to do so without causing harm to others or without stealing harmony from others within society. May all people -- bisexual, straight, gay or lesbian -- find that embracing our sexual selves fully can be a vehicle of transcending the barriers of close-mindedness, labels, irrational fear and prejudice. May we all enjoy peace and promote only peace through our sexual expression.

Copyright © 2002 P.T. All Rights Reserved. Posted by permission of the author. Do not copy or post without the author's permission.

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